i know this thread goes against many of the posts i've made concerning mothers who juggle careers and child rearing, but fuck it. i can admit when i'm wrong
being a working mother pretty much guarantees that you're going to have to slack off on your wife/mommy duties to some degree. i don't care what anyone says.
i recently started grad school. trying to further my education so i can sit on my ass and be a lazy boss someday, ya know? but i work to supplement my husbands income. plus i have student loan debt ($19k so far, still rising) and medical bills that i'm paying off, and i'd like to get my credit straight so i can buy a house in a few years. my husband handles all of the bills while my income goes on cleaning up our credit, savings, frivolous purchases, and saving for our yearly vacation.
when i conceived in october of 2011, I was adamant about working through my pregnancy. i wasn't going to let a pregnancy keep me from bringing home my respective bacon. i grew up with a working mom and she worked until the very end of all of her pregnancies (there's 5 of us). so i kept at it but i was forced to sit my hyper ass down at 5 months pregnant after complications set in. my husband was like "you ain't going back to work, so you might as well get a hobby or some shit" and after a few arguments i obliged. honestly, i didn't want him taking on the responsibility of being the sole breadwinner in our household. it seemed unfair to me because we've been splitting everything 50/50 since day one. but because i was more concerned with the health of my youngin, I did the wife thing and submitted.
ffwd to the summer of 2012 and i give birth. I had a few more classes to take to enter my grad program so hubby agreed that i should take limited shifts for the fall 2012 semester and get the best grades i could so i could guarantee a spot in my grad program (which is really competitive). they were all online classes (except one) so i was at home most of the time. i worked intermittently from june 2012 to dec 2012 and spent the majority of my time with my youngin. I usually worked one or two days per week (12 hr shifts) and i'd pull one weekend day to get 40 hrs. we fell into a nice routine. i enjoyed my days with my little guy. i was doing great in school and spending a lot of time with my son, so we got to bond like we were supposed to. and my wifely duties were on point. meals stayed cooked, house spotless, hubby penis routinely sucked and ridden, alladat.
now i start my grad program and it seems like i can't do my best in the wife and mom aspect without slacking off in school and work (and i can't afford that shit). all of my classes are on campus so I'm gone most of the time. I find myself dashing home to clean up in the middle of the day so that when I get back home after 6pm the house won't look a mess. and after i come home from school i'm too tired to even think about cleaning a damn thing. i don't cook as much because i eat at school/work and i don't have time to. i went from 3 big meals per week to one, maybe two if i'm lucky. and on top of that i work 24hrs per week (2 12hr weekend shifts)...i'm thinking about saving some money and quitting though.
i fucking miss my kid dude. he's at daycare all day and it hurts. he smiles more for the daycare workers than he does for me now. when i get home after 6pm, he's already ready for bedtime so i don't get to play and chill with him nearly as much. in fact i'm trying to put him to bed as quickly as possible so i can get some reading done for school and sleep, and that makes me feel like an asshole. he's getting bigger and i'm afraid i'm going to miss out on his big milestones, like that first tooth popping out or when he finally starts crawling.
hubby and i have an understanding but it seems like we're more consumed with sleep instead of spending time together. we don't go out as much...sex hasn't decreased but if we don't pay attention it does. it seems like one of us is always falling asleep on the other...right now he's laid out on the loveseat snoring. it hasn't caused any issues but i don't want it to become one and i'm too busy to realize it.
but i'm doing great in school so far and excelling at work. HA!
i think i've lost faith in this working mother shit. i love my career and i want to go far in it but not at the expense of losing time with my kid and future children.
/endrant
being a working mother pretty much guarantees that you're going to have to slack off on your wife/mommy duties to some degree. i don't care what anyone says.
i recently started grad school. trying to further my education so i can sit on my ass and be a lazy boss someday, ya know? but i work to supplement my husbands income. plus i have student loan debt ($19k so far, still rising) and medical bills that i'm paying off, and i'd like to get my credit straight so i can buy a house in a few years. my husband handles all of the bills while my income goes on cleaning up our credit, savings, frivolous purchases, and saving for our yearly vacation.
when i conceived in october of 2011, I was adamant about working through my pregnancy. i wasn't going to let a pregnancy keep me from bringing home my respective bacon. i grew up with a working mom and she worked until the very end of all of her pregnancies (there's 5 of us). so i kept at it but i was forced to sit my hyper ass down at 5 months pregnant after complications set in. my husband was like "you ain't going back to work, so you might as well get a hobby or some shit" and after a few arguments i obliged. honestly, i didn't want him taking on the responsibility of being the sole breadwinner in our household. it seemed unfair to me because we've been splitting everything 50/50 since day one. but because i was more concerned with the health of my youngin, I did the wife thing and submitted.
ffwd to the summer of 2012 and i give birth. I had a few more classes to take to enter my grad program so hubby agreed that i should take limited shifts for the fall 2012 semester and get the best grades i could so i could guarantee a spot in my grad program (which is really competitive). they were all online classes (except one) so i was at home most of the time. i worked intermittently from june 2012 to dec 2012 and spent the majority of my time with my youngin. I usually worked one or two days per week (12 hr shifts) and i'd pull one weekend day to get 40 hrs. we fell into a nice routine. i enjoyed my days with my little guy. i was doing great in school and spending a lot of time with my son, so we got to bond like we were supposed to. and my wifely duties were on point. meals stayed cooked, house spotless, hubby penis routinely sucked and ridden, alladat.
now i start my grad program and it seems like i can't do my best in the wife and mom aspect without slacking off in school and work (and i can't afford that shit). all of my classes are on campus so I'm gone most of the time. I find myself dashing home to clean up in the middle of the day so that when I get back home after 6pm the house won't look a mess. and after i come home from school i'm too tired to even think about cleaning a damn thing. i don't cook as much because i eat at school/work and i don't have time to. i went from 3 big meals per week to one, maybe two if i'm lucky. and on top of that i work 24hrs per week (2 12hr weekend shifts)...i'm thinking about saving some money and quitting though.
i fucking miss my kid dude. he's at daycare all day and it hurts. he smiles more for the daycare workers than he does for me now. when i get home after 6pm, he's already ready for bedtime so i don't get to play and chill with him nearly as much. in fact i'm trying to put him to bed as quickly as possible so i can get some reading done for school and sleep, and that makes me feel like an asshole. he's getting bigger and i'm afraid i'm going to miss out on his big milestones, like that first tooth popping out or when he finally starts crawling.
hubby and i have an understanding but it seems like we're more consumed with sleep instead of spending time together. we don't go out as much...sex hasn't decreased but if we don't pay attention it does. it seems like one of us is always falling asleep on the other...right now he's laid out on the loveseat snoring. it hasn't caused any issues but i don't want it to become one and i'm too busy to realize it.
but i'm doing great in school so far and excelling at work. HA!
i think i've lost faith in this working mother shit. i love my career and i want to go far in it but not at the expense of losing time with my kid and future children.
/endrant